To My Friend(s) Who Struggle With Mental Illness.

This isn’t going to a poem or pictures like I’ve normally been posting. It’s for anyone who struggles with a mental illness. I’ve recently had someone who attempted suicide. Luckily, they are currently seeking help. I will not really go into further detail with it because I will keep the details in private. However, I struggled with mental illness all my life. I’ve had it since I reached puberty. I’m not here to sugar coat things and let you know everything is fine and dandy. Because it isn’t. The hardest part with having a mental illness is figuring out what’s the best solution to make things easier for YOU to deal with it. The best way to find out what works for you is to seek help. Everyone is different and even if two people struggle with the same illness, they may have different ways to ease it. If you are struggling with anything right now, please know that their is someone out there that’s is willing to help you. If you feel like nobody is there to talk, please email me. I may not know you, but I will try my best to help. You are loved and you are worthy of being alive. I know sometimes we want to figure things out on our own and are scared to reach out for help. I know because I’m like that. It took me years for finally admitting that I have a problem. I’m happy to admit that I have found things that I’m happy to live for, including myself. But it’s a constant struggle. So take one step a time. You are a beautiful person. You may struggle with a hard burden on your back, but please know there are people out there who love you. You don’t have to deal with this alone. Life is worth living because you make it worth it.  

If anyone needs help, please don’t be afraid email me.

Monster in The Lake

I have a reoccurring dream. I walk through an open corn field where you walk miles through a dirt path. The sun is beating down onto my face and I’m sweating. Luckily, there is a fresh wind that blows the sweat of my shoulders. I’m exhausted, but I get to the large pond that is surrounded by  enormous willow tree. A “bridge” passes across it made out of wooden planks. The wood is cracked, soft, moldy. It’s slippery and mushy as I step through it. On some night when the dream visits me again,  the plank bridge is broken. If I want to walk across it, I have to get a running head start. So I walk a couple feet away from it, I close my eyes and run. However, I can never reach the other side because I get scared and chicken out. So I end up sitting on the edge of the bridge, with my feet hanging down from it. There is a problem, at the bottom of the lake there is a monster. Sometimes a large whale, so enormous it doesn’t fit in the pond. It’s so large that it’s fin has to stick outside out of the tiny little pond. When I look down to stare at it,all I see is  a bulging eye, twitching and dilating. Sometimes, it’s a snake, I can’t see its face, but I can see it writhing and coiling back and forth in the water. I can hear the skin rub again itself. So when the monster is in the pond, I’m scared to cross the wooden plank bridge. And yet, its like a magnet. I walk across it barefoot. I can feel the wood and the mush of the moss between my toes, while the huge whale eye flickers back and forth staring at me. I’m frozen. I’m Stuck and I can never get to the other side.